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The Most Important Farting Case Law on the Books
ANDREW FIOUZI MAY 16, 2018

載入史冊的“放屁”案例



Some cultures are just more accepting of farting than others. Australia, for example, where a recent court ruling declared that farting doesn’t constitute workplace bullying: “Justice Rita Zammit dismissed claims made by David Hingst, a contract administrator from Melbourne, who accused his supervisor, Greg Short, of bullying,” reported The Daily Mail.

對于“屁”,有些國家文化確比其他某些國家的更為寬容。例如,最近澳大利亞的一法庭宣判放屁不構成職場欺凌。據《每日郵報》報道,“來自墨爾本的臨時管理員戴維·辛斯特對他的上司格雷格·肖特提出霸凌指控,法官麗塔·扎米特(Rita Zammit)駁回了他的指控。



According to the report, the 18-day trial?—?which included more than a dozen witnesses, one of whom claimed farting was just “typical banter or mucking around,” before suggesting that Australians are more okay with farting than Germans (the plaintiff was German)?—?was just the most recent case of farting case law. (For more on Germanic fart hate, in 2016, German police tried to issue a $1,000 fine to a person who farted at them.)

據報道,該案審判了18天。該案中十幾名目擊證人,其中一人表示放屁只是“典型的開玩笑和鬧著玩”,隨后又暗示澳大利亞人在對放屁的問題比德國人會更寬容(原告是德國人)?這并不是離我們最近一起關于屁的案件。(關于德國人對屁憎恨的程度,2016年,德國警方試圖對沖著他們放屁的人處以1000美元的???。)



Unfortunately for her, Swedish police dismissed the case, stating, “It’s impossible to prove that he wanted to pass particularly smelly wind on purpose,” stated Kenneth Persson, a spokesman for the local police, as reported by The Guardian. Which is another way of saying, sorry, but being a jerk isn’t a crime (though it should be).

對這位女子來說,不幸的是,瑞典警方駁回了這一控告,稱“無法證明他的這個屁是故意放的”據《衛報》報道,當地警方發言人肯尼斯佩爾松表示。另有一種解釋是,抱歉,這雖是種混蛋行為但構不成犯罪(想想也是)



2) If you love your partner, you should let them fart around you. Which is sound advice unless your partner is a Floridian who is deathly averse to your farts and prone to violent behavior. “Marriage isn’t always a gas,” writes David Moye for the Huffington Post, reporting that in 2015, a 55-year-old Florida woman was arrested for domestic battery after attacking her husband for farting in bed. The courts agreed that while that may warrant a few elbows?—?which is initially what Dawn Meikle, the wife of the farter in question, used against her husband?—?it doesn’t make it okay to use pepper spray before beating your spouse within inches of his life. For that reason, Meikle was sent to jail (but released shortly thereafter).

2)如果你愛你的另一半,就要容忍他或她在你身邊排出的體內氣體。這個建議聽起來不錯,除非你的另一半對這種氣體特別反感且有暴力傾向的佛羅里達人?!盎橐霾⒉蛔蓯怯卸鏡摹貝魑つ獵凇逗輾葉儆時ā飛纖倒?。2015年,佛羅里達州一名55歲的女子因毆打在床上的放屁的丈夫而被捕。法官有證據懷疑這位名為道恩梅克爾的妻子可能多次利用了肘擊,雖是丈夫的近距離放屁而撩起妻子的怒火?但在離你愛人只有幾厘米遠的時候使用辣椒噴霧就有些過分了。因此,梅克爾被送進了監獄(但很快就被釋放了)

3) Not only was Meikle not the only person to severely punish someone for farting, she wasn’t even the first woman in Florida to do so. In 2013, Deborah Ann Burns was accused of throwing an eight-inch-long kitchen knife at her boyfriend after he purposefully farted in her face. According to The Daily Mail, when officers responded to the call, they found Burn’s boyfriend with cuts on his abdomen and left arm. What a stinker.

3)梅克爾不僅不是唯一一個因屁而毆打別人的人,她甚至不是佛羅里達州第一個去這樣做的女人。2013年,一位名為黛博拉安伯恩斯的女子,被控向男友撇去一把約20厘米長的菜刀,原因是男友故意朝她臉上放屁。據英國《每日郵報》報道,警方接到報警后,發現伯恩斯的男友腹部與和左臂被扎傷??上攵?,這個屁究竟會臭到何種程度。

4) Based on Jose Cruz’s run-in with the fart police, it’s clear that some farters are just farting for the heck of it. Cruz, after getting a DUI, decided to really lean into things by farting on the arresting police officer, landing him with an added assault charge. Originally pulled over for driving without headlights, then failing a field sobriety test, Cruz was brought to the police station, which is where he decided it would be a good idea to let one rip. “That’s when police say Cruz ‘lifted his leg and passed gas loudly on (Patrolman) Parsons… then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear,’” reported The Daily Telegraph. “Cruz ended up with a battery on a police officer charge, two counts of obstruction, plus a DUI and a driving without headlights charge. His bond was $5,000.”

4)以何塞克魯茲以屁攻擊警察為例,很明顯,一些人放屁的人只是為了好玩而這么做??寺匙紉蚓坪蠹莩刀瘓齏?,但沖著警察們放屁,而被額外提出攻擊指控。起初克魯茲因驅車未開大燈而被警察攔下,后來又沒能通過現場酒精測試,于是他被帶到警察局,但在那里他決定放個屁讓警察們吃點苦頭。據英國《每日電訊報》報道,當時警方稱克魯茲“抬起腿,沖著帕森斯(巡警)大放毒氣……然后還伸手在屁股后面扇...”科魯茲最終被控襲警,以及兩項違規即酒后駕駛與未開車前大燈立案。保釋金5000美元?!?br />


5) But what happens when one officer farts on another?—?who do you call then? In 2014, a Texas cop of 14 years was arrested by his coworkers for farting in another cop’s face. According to the affidavit, a communications operator was making coffee and talking to another officer, when the farting cop kicked him in the back, causing his body to “lunge forward.” “The next day, the document says, Jonap [farting cop’s name] hit the communications operator on the head with a notebook, flicked his ear and then farted in his face,” reported the Statesman. For his farting-foolery, the officer was charged with assault with injury, an offense which carries a sentence of up to one year in prison and a fine of up to $4,000.

5)但是當出現一個警官向另一個警官放屁時會出現什么情況?到底支持誰呢?2014年,一名在德克薩斯州工作14年的警察因朝著另一名警察的臉部放屁而被同事逮捕。據口供表明,當時一名通訊員正邊煮咖啡邊與另一名警官閑聊,這位放屁的警察踹了一腳他的后背,導致他的身體“向前一趔趄”?!暗詼?,Jonap(那位放屁警察的名字)用筆記本拍了一下通信員的頭,彈了下他的耳垂,還對準他的臉放屁”。由于這種愚蠢行為,這名警官被判人身攻擊傷害他人罪,最高可判處一年監禁和最高4000美元的???。



7) In 2011, Malawi attempted to ban farting in public under Malwaian Air Fouling Legislation in order to “mold responsible and disciplined citizens,” reported Time. Other offenses made illegal by the bill included, “insulting the modesty of a woman, challenging to fight a duel, and… pretending to be a fortune teller,” reported Business Insider. After some debate, the bill was passed, but it remains unclear what the punishment for passing gas in public would be.

7)2011年,《時代》雜志報道,東非國家馬拉維試圖根據《馬爾維安空氣污染法》禁止在公共場所放屁,以培養“肩負責任與公民自律”。據《商業內幕》報報道,該法案還規定了其他違法行為,包括“侮辱女性尊嚴,決斗挑戰,以及……假扮算命先生”。經過一番辯論,該法案獲得通過,但目前還不清楚在公共場所放屁到底會受到何種懲罰。



8) And finally, we end this list on cow farts?—?more disgusting and stinky than any human fart, and according to California Governor Jerry Brown, responsible for severely polluting our atmosphere. In 2016, California began regulating greenhouse-gas emissions tied to dairy cows and landfills. “Dairy farmers will be required to reduce methane emissions from manure to 40 percent below their 2013 levels by 2030, with the help of $50 million from the state’s fee charged to polluters, known as cap-and-trade,” reported the New York Post.

8)最后,我們以牛的屁來做結尾。加州州長杰里·布朗表示,他本人對嚴重污染大氣負有責任。2016年,加州開始規范奶牛場與垃圾填埋場的溫室氣體排放?!杜υ加時ā繁ǖ萊?“到2030年,國家將向奶農補貼5000萬美元,并要求奶農必須將牛糞中的甲烷排放量減少到2013年水平的40%,即限額交易。

The most delicious part is that the $50 million from the state was in part dedicated to purchasing dairy digesters for the farmers?—?because, y’know, dairy cows get indigestion, too.

最令人欣慰的事,國家所補貼的5000萬美元,將部分用于為奶農們購買奶消化器?因為,你知道的,奶牛也是會消化不良的。